This round of Provera has been so much worse than the other one, or I just forgot how bad it was. All weekend I would just randomly breakdown crying hysterically over nothing. I also felt on edge the whole time like I was about to blow up over something as small as a broken nail. As of today I have 4 pills left to take. I hate being an infertile woman so much! Today I'm just angry. Angry that I have to take medication to have a period, angry that I have to do all the crap to my body just to have a child. Why can I not just be "normal"? What am I supposed to learn from this? Was it not enough that I had to have heart surgery at 14?
My poor husband has been super supportive this time. When we first started our treatments he was always getting frustrated with me and rolling his eyes when I got emotional. However, this time he's been great. He just holds me and lets me cry. He doesn't roll his eyes when I get mad (at least not that I can see) and he doesn't get too upset! We had a great talk on night after I started my Provera and have decided that if the next 3 cycles with Femara don't work then we will pursue adoption. I'm not mentally ready for IVF. Hats off to you ladies that go through IVF, it just seems too overwhelming to me. I'm going to try my best to hold onto hope that Femara will be our golden ticket and that next year we will welcome our first child into this world, but I'm struggling to hold onto that hope.I'm anxious to have the HSG and pelvic ultrasound done though. I really want answers as to why I have stopped ovulating on my own!
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