So much has happened since I last took/had the time to sit down and write. I've changed departments at work, Reed's out of the Army and our baby girl is 1! How is it possible that our little miracle baby is one?!?
Let's start by catching up on Kenzie. She is so amazing! I love watching her learn and grow every day. She is so happy, most of the time, and very adventurous. She is very sure of herself and makes sure that everyone knows what she wants. While she definitely has moments that she acts like an only child, we are working with her, both at home and daycare, to learn how to share and play with others.
Unfortunately we are still dealing with her milk allergy. However, thankfully she is able to eat baked in dairy, yogurt and most cheese. The only thing that I know she can't handle is whole milk. I'm too scared to give her ice cream so I don't know about that one. We last trialed whole milk about 3 weeks ago. While there was no blood in her poo after only 2 days she had green super mucousy poos which to me is an indication of a fail. I've got my fingers crossed that when we try again in about 2 weeks that she'll be able to tolerate it. Until then though we continue to give her everything that she can tolerate in the hopes of getting her system used to it and allowing her to pass milk next time.
She loves to eat, although baby food is refused 95% of the time now. She much prefers to share a plate with me at dinner. Right now her absolute favorite meal is spaghetti, which I think is about normal for babies her age. She did, however, hate her cake for her birthday. It tasted delicious and was so pretty, but she's not a big fan of being dirty. She's actually a very clean eater and likes to help wipe off the table and sweep the floors, so I think that's why she hated her cake. We are doing her 1 year pictures tomorrow with a smash cake so I'm hoping that it'll go a little better. We've been trying to make her mess with things that are different textures to hopefully minimize the screaming and crying for her pictures.
She also loves to be outside. As soon as she sees the front door open she runs over to it to go outside. She got so mad at us the other night because it was raining and cold so we didn't let her go outside to play. We have a big garden in the back and lots of raspberries bushes and that has been her favorite activity this summer. Almost every night we head back to the garden and she gets fresh raspberries and strawberries and whatever else we end up picking. Last night she helped us harvest some of our potatoes. We are so sad that the summer is almost over and she won't be able to go out back for her nightly fresh snack. Other favorite outside activities including swinging, picking up rocks and going down the slide.
In other news, Reed is no longer in the Army. Him getting out was very bittersweet. It's so nice having him home all the time and never have to worry about him leaving for training or deployments or getting called in on the weekends or evenings for stupid crap. However, the very steady/dependable paycheck as well as the insurance are sorely missed. We started planning on him getting out back in December/January time and had no idea what he was going to do. He didn't really want a 9-5 job and I didn't really want him to take a job on the slope even though the pay would be great. Then while driving around one day he found what he wanted to do. He is now the owner of the laundromat here in town. I never thought we would use a laundromat, much less own one, but here we are. We have been laundromat owners for almost 2 months now. It's such an interesting and educational experience. He loves being his own boss and not having to answer to anyone (except me of course) and I love that he is always home. Sure he occasionally gets calls about problems while we're having dinner or after Kenz goes to bed, but he usually goes up to take care of it and is back home within 2 hrs. He's such a different man now compared to what he was even 6 months ago. While owning a business is stressful, he is much happier now that he has been in the last 3 years.
I took a different position at work which has also allowed me to change my hours and be able to spend more time with Kenzie every night. I now do occupational health stuff. I really miss surgery, assisting in the OR, the surgeon and the patients, but now I have a new manager, better hours and the freedom to do what I want with my job. I no longer have anyone micromanaging me or making me feel like an incompetent nurse.
Has anyone else who went through fertility treatments quit having cycles on their own? Prior to starting out treatments in 2012 I would always have a cycle, but they were just irregular and averaged 36-38 days long. The first sign of a problem was May 2013 when I didn't ovulate on our last round of Clomid. Then we took a break from fertility treatments for the summer and I never had a cycle. The next cycle, induced with provera, I got pregnant with Kenzie. Fast forward to my 6 week postpartum check. I decided to get the Mirena because I didn't want to risk getting pregnant accidentally. Unfortunately I had to have it removed 5 months later because of bad cramping. Since then I have only had 1 cycle. I don't cycle on my own and they just increased the ocp that I'm taking because I didn't cycle on the original one they put me on. Did I really mess up my body chasing my dreams of having a baby?
August 21, 2015
January 5, 2015
Coming to an end?
When Kenzie was first born my goal was to breastfeed until she was ready to quit. Then we discovered her milk and soy intolerance and my goal was a year. Then we discovered her intolerance to almonds and my goal stayed at a year. Right before Thanksgiving we had our first encounter with blood in her poo and I had to quit nursing her for two days. I tried my best to keep up with pumping during those two days, but know I could have done better. Since then I've noticed that my supply has dropped some. I used to be able to easily pump 10 oz in the morning and another 5 oz or more in the afternoon. So I got some lactation cookies, drank lots of water, and started taking fenugreek supplements to help increase my supply. She doesn't act like she's hungry or not getting enough to eat, but I just can't pump much anymore. This morning I was only able to pump 5 oz no matter how much I tried. I'm back to being really sore (similar, but not quite as bad, as in the beginning) and starting to dread pumping time. The very minimum I wanted to make it was 6 months, but I don't know if I can keep up. Since the two day break we have gone through the over 100 oz that I had frozen prior to going back to work and now I just feel like I can't keep up. She eats about 15 oz while I'm at work and in order to get that today I had to pump twice yesterday on top of feeding her plus pump this morning while taking my husband to work. I don't know what to do. Would it be horrible to give her one bottle of formula during the day and try to continue with mostly breastfeeding/pumping?
December 8, 2014
Who knew milk could be so bad?!?
I've known for a while now that Kenzie was a Milk Soy Protein Intolerance (MSPI) baby. I've adapted my diet to eliminate all sources of milk and soy. It is quite possibly one of the more challenging things I've had to do. I thought I was being so careful, but I do admit that I have been a little less OCD about checking ingredient labels recently. That's when my first major panic moment as a mom happened. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving I change Kenz's diaper and find two large drops of blood in there. I panicked! As a nurse I know that blood does not come from intestines and into stool unless something is wrong. I instantly looked closely for hemorrhoids (I knew the chance of that at her age was minimal, but still) and fissures. I didn't think she had either really because she's not ever had a problem with constipation. I called her doctor and we met with him the following afternoon. He said that the two most common causes of blood in stools in babies is a fissure or allergy. We both looked and didn't see any fissures so that left us with the allergy. He gave me samples of a special milk-free, soy-free formula and told me to try that exclusively if the blood continued or worsened. The blood seemed to have gone away Wednesday aside from little specs which she has had for a while. However, Thursday mid-morning the blood returned and we made the decision to switch her to the Nutramigen. We had her on only formula for 40 hours and she had even more blood in her stool so back to the doctor we went. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday and her regular pediatrician wasn't working so we were stuck seeing a nurse pracitioner in the same department. She was nice enough but talked to me like I didn't know what I was doing. She decided that Kenz had several fissures that was where the blood was coming from. She suggested that we go back to breastfeeding since Kenz liked it better and ultimately that's what we wanted for her. I didn't feel great about this option, but she hated the formula and had been so cranky since we switched. As soon as I started nursing her she just melted into me. She had a couple bouts of blood in her stool since, but as of last Wednesday there was no blood! I'm so relieved. It was so frustrating seeing blood in her poo and everyone telling me not to worry about it while everything in my gut told me something was right.
That being said I have also wondered if she has a sensitivity to almonds. When I first got the idea of the milk intolerance I switched to using almond milk, but found that she still had lots of watery, mucousy stool. I then switched to rice milk for everything. Since I finally got her poo back to looking normal this weekend, I decided to try almond milk again and see if she still had problems. I got a carton of vanilla almond milk (my favorite) and had some Saturday morning, and by Saturday evening the blood had returned. I then stopped the almond milk and the blood and mucous went away. I talked to her doctor about it when we came in the first time for the blood and he told me he didn't think it was a problem because it was so rare. However, based on the appearance of blood I think she does have an intolerance. I'm hoping that it is something that will outgrow like they think she will with the milk intolerance.
That being said I have also wondered if she has a sensitivity to almonds. When I first got the idea of the milk intolerance I switched to using almond milk, but found that she still had lots of watery, mucousy stool. I then switched to rice milk for everything. Since I finally got her poo back to looking normal this weekend, I decided to try almond milk again and see if she still had problems. I got a carton of vanilla almond milk (my favorite) and had some Saturday morning, and by Saturday evening the blood had returned. I then stopped the almond milk and the blood and mucous went away. I talked to her doctor about it when we came in the first time for the blood and he told me he didn't think it was a problem because it was so rare. However, based on the appearance of blood I think she does have an intolerance. I'm hoping that it is something that will outgrow like they think she will with the milk intolerance.
October 20, 2014
The Evil of Dairy and Soy
Two things that I truly love in life are chocolate and cheese. Unfortunately both of those foods have dairy in them. Here's the story to why that's important
Starting at about 5 weeks of age I noticed that Kenzie was increasingly fussy (despite taking Zantac for her reflux), spitting up more and her poop consistency had changed. When I took her into her appointment at 20 days I explained her "fussiness" to her doctor and he told me at that time he thought it was reflux, and to start her on Zantac and see how she does. She was still having "normal" breastfed baby poop with no blood or mucous in it. I gave her the Zantac religiously and never really noticed any changes. She was becoming more and more fussy so, in desperation, I took her back to the doctor. He said that since she had gained weight her Zantac was no longer a therapeutic dose and increased it. He said that if I noticed blood in her poop or this didn't work we needed to consider food sensitivities/allergies. I went home and continued to give her the Zantac, but never really saw a change for the better. Instead, she seemed to get more fussy, and her poop went from a little mucous to mostly mucous and diarrhea. Off to the internet I went, googling like a mad woman. I discovered something called a milk soy protein intolerance. Kenzie had every symptom except weight loss. I decided 3 weeks ago to eliminate all soy and dairy from my diet. Unfortunately it takes anywhere from 10 days - 3 weeks for it all to be our of my system, but after a week I started to notice a difference. She was becoming the happy baby that she was at first. Then I decided to experiment and allowed myself some cheese. That afternoon the diarrhea and fussy attitude returned. That sealed the deal for me.
Being a new mom is hard enough, but adding the strict diet changes has made it feel almost impossible at times. I now read labels like you wouldn't believe. Reed and I are shocked by how many things have soy in them. We have started to get more creative with our meals, but as an added bonus is that since so many things have soy and/or dairy in them we have been forced to have a very healthy diet. Sure there are many things that would taste better if we had some cheese with it, but it's not worth it for me.
I am seriously amazed by how much changing my diet effected my baby girl. She went for almost a month where she was never happy. She was literally screaming 90% of the time that she was awake. Now, she's full of smiles and seems close to laughing/giggling. Sure she still has her fussy moments, but overall she's much better. I even have taken her off the Zantac and she seems to be doing great without it. It's so nice not having to give my baby medicine even though she took her medicine like a champ.
Here's our beautiful, happy baby girl at almost 11 weeks old.
Starting at about 5 weeks of age I noticed that Kenzie was increasingly fussy (despite taking Zantac for her reflux), spitting up more and her poop consistency had changed. When I took her into her appointment at 20 days I explained her "fussiness" to her doctor and he told me at that time he thought it was reflux, and to start her on Zantac and see how she does. She was still having "normal" breastfed baby poop with no blood or mucous in it. I gave her the Zantac religiously and never really noticed any changes. She was becoming more and more fussy so, in desperation, I took her back to the doctor. He said that since she had gained weight her Zantac was no longer a therapeutic dose and increased it. He said that if I noticed blood in her poop or this didn't work we needed to consider food sensitivities/allergies. I went home and continued to give her the Zantac, but never really saw a change for the better. Instead, she seemed to get more fussy, and her poop went from a little mucous to mostly mucous and diarrhea. Off to the internet I went, googling like a mad woman. I discovered something called a milk soy protein intolerance. Kenzie had every symptom except weight loss. I decided 3 weeks ago to eliminate all soy and dairy from my diet. Unfortunately it takes anywhere from 10 days - 3 weeks for it all to be our of my system, but after a week I started to notice a difference. She was becoming the happy baby that she was at first. Then I decided to experiment and allowed myself some cheese. That afternoon the diarrhea and fussy attitude returned. That sealed the deal for me.
Being a new mom is hard enough, but adding the strict diet changes has made it feel almost impossible at times. I now read labels like you wouldn't believe. Reed and I are shocked by how many things have soy in them. We have started to get more creative with our meals, but as an added bonus is that since so many things have soy and/or dairy in them we have been forced to have a very healthy diet. Sure there are many things that would taste better if we had some cheese with it, but it's not worth it for me.
I am seriously amazed by how much changing my diet effected my baby girl. She went for almost a month where she was never happy. She was literally screaming 90% of the time that she was awake. Now, she's full of smiles and seems close to laughing/giggling. Sure she still has her fussy moments, but overall she's much better. I even have taken her off the Zantac and she seems to be doing great without it. It's so nice not having to give my baby medicine even though she took her medicine like a champ.
Here's our beautiful, happy baby girl at almost 11 weeks old.
October 8, 2014
2 months
I can't believe that little miss Kenzie had her 2 month birthday on Sunday! Where has the time gone? Unfortunately I have to go back to work in a month and am starting to get some anxiety about that. Initially I wanted to have her in a licensed daycare facility. I had put her on the waiting list on post when I was approximately 10 weeks pregnant. I would have to call every month and let them know that we still needed daycare for her and every month they would tell me that we wouldn't have a problem. That's until I called in August. When I called the week before Kenz was born they informed me that the secondary center they were counting on opening in August wasn't going to open and we were looking at a 6 month minimum wait. I asked what number she was on the wait list and they told me that they didn't know but that there were 147 infants on the waiting list. Are you kidding me?!? So they gave me the number for the childcare referral center who gave the info on about 30 licensed daycares and group home facilities. Of those 30, 2 didn't answer or call me back after leaving a message, 6 had hours that wouldn't work with our work schedules, and 20 were not accepting any child under 30 months. We went and visited one of the two that were accepting babies and I was less than impressed. She charged $820 or so per month and expected us to pay the full monthly amount from the time we turned in the paperwork for Kenz to go to her. That mean that for 12 weeks plus however long I had until I delivered (which ended up only being a week) we would be paying her to do absolutely nothing. I couldn't believe that she expected us to pay her over $2400 just to hold a spot for our daughter. There were several things I didn't like about her, but that was the biggest one. The other place I had set up an appointment to meet with her the next Wednesday, but turned out that little miss was born on Tuesday and we needed to reschedule since we both wanted to be there. I called her twice, once while I was in the hospital room waiting to go to the OR and the next time right before we were discharged and she never called me back. I was really starting to panic. What was I going to do? We need my income, but I couldn't take her with me to work and no one was taking babies. Then I saw a post on one of the many pages for the military spouses/families in the area about a woman who has 5 kids and is wanting to start doing some childcare because her children are in school. Despite it not being what I wanted I was desperate and contacted her. We went and met with her and it turned out great. She is such a sweet woman and is super flexible with our schedules. She totally understands the military life and that when Reed has 3 and 4 day weekends and block leave little miss will stay home with him. The other lady didn't get that. I'm very comfortable with where she'll be while I'm at work, but it's causing me tons of anxiety. She is technically 9 weeks old today and I have not been away from her for more than an hour since she was born.
I knew that motherhood was going to be challenging, but this is way more than I expected. Little miss isn't what I would call an easy baby. She is very fussy and wants to be held at all times. We were told that she had acid reflux at 3 weeks and she was started on medication for that. I hated the idea of giving my baby medication, but was desperate for something that might help ease her fussiness. It helps a little, but not much. After doing some research on the ever handy internet and watching her reactions to what I was eating I discovered that she may have a problem with milk & dairy. I clearly remember having something very cheesy for dinner one night and after nursing the next morning she had bad diarrhea for about 2 hours. I know 2 hours doesn't seem like much, but for a little baby that's a lot of poop and a lot of fluid to loose. Thankfully it stopped and she didn't show any signs of dehydration. I have since cut out dairy and upon further ready discovered that if your baby has a problem with milk/dairy then you should cut out soy as well. I have cut out both, but it has definitely been a challenge. I have never read food labels as much as I do now. I'm actually shocked at the amount of foods that have soy in them. While it's an added bonus that we are having to eat very healthy and almost no processed foods it's also challenging because there isn't much that I can grab and make one handed. I feel like I'm constantly hungry with no real snacks I can grab. I know that I'll figure things out slowly, but I can tell you that I'm craving pizza and chocolate like crazy. You never know how much you truly enjoy something until you can't have it. While the diet changes are proving to be very challenging one look at my daughter I know that it's so very worth it. I'm hoping that once all the milk and soy proteins are out of my system (which could take anywhere from 10 days to 3 weeks) that she will go back to being the happy baby that she was for the first 3 weeks.
At the suggestion of her doctor today we have also started self soothing with her. I was telling him how every night now we give her a bath and then I feed her and she falls asleep. Due to her reflux I normally hold her for another 20-30 minutes and then put her to bed. She used to stay asleep when I put her to bed, but now she's waking up almost immediately after I put her down. He said that's normal and that the sooner we teach her to self soothe and put herself to sleep in her bed the better life will be for all 3 of us. Tonight was our first night and it has been pure hell so far. As of right now it's 1:15 am and I have yet to be asleep. She has finally stopped screaming/crying, but I'm pretty sure she's still awake. I'm hoping that she goes to sleep soon so I can go to sleep. I'm also hoping that she will sleep a good 4-5 hours so that I can get enough sleep to be able to make it through the day. We shall see though.
I meant to put a picture of her in my last post, but due to internet problems and not being able to use my own computer I wasn't able to. Here's a picture of her from today.
I knew that motherhood was going to be challenging, but this is way more than I expected. Little miss isn't what I would call an easy baby. She is very fussy and wants to be held at all times. We were told that she had acid reflux at 3 weeks and she was started on medication for that. I hated the idea of giving my baby medication, but was desperate for something that might help ease her fussiness. It helps a little, but not much. After doing some research on the ever handy internet and watching her reactions to what I was eating I discovered that she may have a problem with milk & dairy. I clearly remember having something very cheesy for dinner one night and after nursing the next morning she had bad diarrhea for about 2 hours. I know 2 hours doesn't seem like much, but for a little baby that's a lot of poop and a lot of fluid to loose. Thankfully it stopped and she didn't show any signs of dehydration. I have since cut out dairy and upon further ready discovered that if your baby has a problem with milk/dairy then you should cut out soy as well. I have cut out both, but it has definitely been a challenge. I have never read food labels as much as I do now. I'm actually shocked at the amount of foods that have soy in them. While it's an added bonus that we are having to eat very healthy and almost no processed foods it's also challenging because there isn't much that I can grab and make one handed. I feel like I'm constantly hungry with no real snacks I can grab. I know that I'll figure things out slowly, but I can tell you that I'm craving pizza and chocolate like crazy. You never know how much you truly enjoy something until you can't have it. While the diet changes are proving to be very challenging one look at my daughter I know that it's so very worth it. I'm hoping that once all the milk and soy proteins are out of my system (which could take anywhere from 10 days to 3 weeks) that she will go back to being the happy baby that she was for the first 3 weeks.
At the suggestion of her doctor today we have also started self soothing with her. I was telling him how every night now we give her a bath and then I feed her and she falls asleep. Due to her reflux I normally hold her for another 20-30 minutes and then put her to bed. She used to stay asleep when I put her to bed, but now she's waking up almost immediately after I put her down. He said that's normal and that the sooner we teach her to self soothe and put herself to sleep in her bed the better life will be for all 3 of us. Tonight was our first night and it has been pure hell so far. As of right now it's 1:15 am and I have yet to be asleep. She has finally stopped screaming/crying, but I'm pretty sure she's still awake. I'm hoping that she goes to sleep soon so I can go to sleep. I'm also hoping that she will sleep a good 4-5 hours so that I can get enough sleep to be able to make it through the day. We shall see though.
I meant to put a picture of her in my last post, but due to internet problems and not being able to use my own computer I wasn't able to. Here's a picture of her from today.
August 23, 2014
The day my life was forever changed
Started around 35 weeks I began having problems with my blood pressure being too high. At my 35 week appointment my OB ordered all the pre-eclampsia labs, including a 24 hr urine, and decided that we would do twice weekly NSTs to make sure little miss wasn't in distress from my high blood pressure and then weekly appointments for me. He also told me that it felt like she had flipped and was no longer breech. She still felt the same to me, but he was certain that he felt her head down low and her feet up high. That was a huge relief to me because I really didn't want to have a C-section and knew that the chances of her flipping after 35 weeks were slim.
She did great for every NST, had great variability and excellent movement. However, I didn't do so great at my appointments. At my 36 week appointment and the NST that week my blood pressure had dropped back down to normal it appeared that I wouldn't have to be induced after all. I was so excited that I would get to let her decide when she was ready to come and be able to experience a "normal" labor since we didn't have a normal conception. That all changed at my 37 week appointment. As usual her NST looked great, I was the problem. My blood pressure had shot up and despite taking it multiple times and letting me sit and rest for a while between each time it stayed around 150/92. While that doesn't seem too bad it's insanely high given that I was on heart medication for help keep my rate down and it also lowers blood pressure; both my OB and I were worried about how high my blood pressure would have been if I wasn't on the medications. He decided it would be best for me to have daily blood pressure checks and repeat all the pre-e labs (except the 24 hr urine). He was certain that I would not remain pregnant for my appointment next week, depending on how the labs came back I wasn't even going to get to stay pregnant that night. That afternoon I met him in the hall and he told me that I did get to stay pregnant that night and since he was doing an ultrasound to check position for a co-worker of mine he would do an ultrasound on me to make sure that she had indeed flipped. Well, jokes on him, she was still breech. We had a good laugh about that (since nothing else seemed to be going right that day) and then had a serious discussion about my options at this point. I basically had 3 options, I could see an acupuncturist to try moxy to get her to turn, we could schedule and external version to try to make her flip or we could schedule a section. I was completely devastated. First my body seemed to be failing my daughter by forcing her to come early. Secondly a section was still a very real possibility for me.
I scheduled an appointment for the next afternoon with the acupuncturist that I had seen last summer with the hope that it would work and I would still at least be allowed to labor and have a vaginal (or as most people refer to it a normal delivery). I had a strong feeling that I wouldn't get to stay pregnant tomorrow night so as soon as I got home from work I finished up the cleaning that I didn't get done the day before and made sure that both her bag and my bag for the hospital were packed.
The next morning I tried to stay as relaxed as possible. I knew my blood pressure was bad though. I had a terrible headache that was very similar to the migraines I used to get and had a really bad disconnected feeling. We checked my blood pressure and it was slightly high than it was the day before. My manager, bless her, tried having me rest and distract myself to see if it would come down, but nothing worked. It was time for a sit down with my OB in his office and make a plan. He didn't like the risks for both me and her of staying pregnant any longer. My options were attempt an external version and then induction or a section. I sat in his office in tears. I was scared for my baby and her health. I was upset at my body for forcing me to deliver her early. I was scared of the options. So I called my husband to discuss the options. After much discussion and some tears we decided that a C-section was the best option for us. So we walked down the hall and sat in my OB's office at noon on 8/5/14 and told him that we had decided to go for the section. The risks associated with an external version combined with the fact that it might not even work and we would still have to do a section were what pushed us to decide on the section to start with. My OB agreed with our choice and said that is what he would recommend and set me up for the section at 3:30 that afternoon. I had an hour and a half to get everything prepared for my leave at work and head to the hospital to check in, plus call our families and let them know. My husband also had to go back to work and wait until his chain of command was back from lunch (at 1:30) to let them know that I would be having the baby that day and get his paternity leave all squared away. Finally at 3:45 my nurse came and walked me down to the OR. The anesthesiologist who did my spinal was amazing and before I knew it they were calling my husband back into the room and the blue drape was going up in front of my face. The best part of my OB is that I knew and worked closely with him and the OB he had assisting him. They talked me through everything which I'm sure they do for everyone, but we also laughed and joked. He had a hard time getting her out because she was breech. As he was pulling her cute little booty out she pooped all over his hand, everyone in the OR had a good laugh at that. He also said that she came out with her hand in her mouth. She still gets mad if she isn't able to have her hands free and near her face now. At 4:18 on August 5, 2014, our precious daughter was born! She had a bit of a problem regulating her breathing for the first minute or two so they gave her oxygen via a mask, but she quickly figured out how to do it on her own. Before I knew it she was swaddled in blankets and laid on my chest. Reed and I held her and were totally in awe that she was here and ours. She was absolutely perfect!
We stayed in the hospital for 4 days. The first couple of days they were worried about jaundice with her but her bili levels never got high enough to need the bili lights. My blood pressure stayed up as well as my heart rate. Although the numbers were the same as before she was born my blood pressure and heart rate were actually better than before she was born because I was taken off the medication to lower it. However, I did ask him to put me back on it after two days because the palpitations were coming back.
I can't believe that was almost 3 weeks ago! My baby girl is 2 weeks old and still absolutely perfect!
She did great for every NST, had great variability and excellent movement. However, I didn't do so great at my appointments. At my 36 week appointment and the NST that week my blood pressure had dropped back down to normal it appeared that I wouldn't have to be induced after all. I was so excited that I would get to let her decide when she was ready to come and be able to experience a "normal" labor since we didn't have a normal conception. That all changed at my 37 week appointment. As usual her NST looked great, I was the problem. My blood pressure had shot up and despite taking it multiple times and letting me sit and rest for a while between each time it stayed around 150/92. While that doesn't seem too bad it's insanely high given that I was on heart medication for help keep my rate down and it also lowers blood pressure; both my OB and I were worried about how high my blood pressure would have been if I wasn't on the medications. He decided it would be best for me to have daily blood pressure checks and repeat all the pre-e labs (except the 24 hr urine). He was certain that I would not remain pregnant for my appointment next week, depending on how the labs came back I wasn't even going to get to stay pregnant that night. That afternoon I met him in the hall and he told me that I did get to stay pregnant that night and since he was doing an ultrasound to check position for a co-worker of mine he would do an ultrasound on me to make sure that she had indeed flipped. Well, jokes on him, she was still breech. We had a good laugh about that (since nothing else seemed to be going right that day) and then had a serious discussion about my options at this point. I basically had 3 options, I could see an acupuncturist to try moxy to get her to turn, we could schedule and external version to try to make her flip or we could schedule a section. I was completely devastated. First my body seemed to be failing my daughter by forcing her to come early. Secondly a section was still a very real possibility for me.
I scheduled an appointment for the next afternoon with the acupuncturist that I had seen last summer with the hope that it would work and I would still at least be allowed to labor and have a vaginal (or as most people refer to it a normal delivery). I had a strong feeling that I wouldn't get to stay pregnant tomorrow night so as soon as I got home from work I finished up the cleaning that I didn't get done the day before and made sure that both her bag and my bag for the hospital were packed.
The next morning I tried to stay as relaxed as possible. I knew my blood pressure was bad though. I had a terrible headache that was very similar to the migraines I used to get and had a really bad disconnected feeling. We checked my blood pressure and it was slightly high than it was the day before. My manager, bless her, tried having me rest and distract myself to see if it would come down, but nothing worked. It was time for a sit down with my OB in his office and make a plan. He didn't like the risks for both me and her of staying pregnant any longer. My options were attempt an external version and then induction or a section. I sat in his office in tears. I was scared for my baby and her health. I was upset at my body for forcing me to deliver her early. I was scared of the options. So I called my husband to discuss the options. After much discussion and some tears we decided that a C-section was the best option for us. So we walked down the hall and sat in my OB's office at noon on 8/5/14 and told him that we had decided to go for the section. The risks associated with an external version combined with the fact that it might not even work and we would still have to do a section were what pushed us to decide on the section to start with. My OB agreed with our choice and said that is what he would recommend and set me up for the section at 3:30 that afternoon. I had an hour and a half to get everything prepared for my leave at work and head to the hospital to check in, plus call our families and let them know. My husband also had to go back to work and wait until his chain of command was back from lunch (at 1:30) to let them know that I would be having the baby that day and get his paternity leave all squared away. Finally at 3:45 my nurse came and walked me down to the OR. The anesthesiologist who did my spinal was amazing and before I knew it they were calling my husband back into the room and the blue drape was going up in front of my face. The best part of my OB is that I knew and worked closely with him and the OB he had assisting him. They talked me through everything which I'm sure they do for everyone, but we also laughed and joked. He had a hard time getting her out because she was breech. As he was pulling her cute little booty out she pooped all over his hand, everyone in the OR had a good laugh at that. He also said that she came out with her hand in her mouth. She still gets mad if she isn't able to have her hands free and near her face now. At 4:18 on August 5, 2014, our precious daughter was born! She had a bit of a problem regulating her breathing for the first minute or two so they gave her oxygen via a mask, but she quickly figured out how to do it on her own. Before I knew it she was swaddled in blankets and laid on my chest. Reed and I held her and were totally in awe that she was here and ours. She was absolutely perfect!
We stayed in the hospital for 4 days. The first couple of days they were worried about jaundice with her but her bili levels never got high enough to need the bili lights. My blood pressure stayed up as well as my heart rate. Although the numbers were the same as before she was born my blood pressure and heart rate were actually better than before she was born because I was taken off the medication to lower it. However, I did ask him to put me back on it after two days because the palpitations were coming back.
I can't believe that was almost 3 weeks ago! My baby girl is 2 weeks old and still absolutely perfect!
July 15, 2014
34 weeks
I can't belive I've made it to 34 weeks! Our little lady will be here next month! This is all getting very overwhelming for me. I've had to stop avoiding thinking about labor and delivery,start planning on getting the hospital bag together, and it's really setting in now how drastically our lives are about to change. No more staying up late watching movies or a tv show marathon and sleeping in the next day. No more waiting until the last possible minute to get up and get ready for work. No more spur of the moment trips on the weekend that involve minimal to no planning. I know that it's all going to be worth it, but it's still overwhelming and scary. Last night I starting thinking about tummy time, introducing solid foods, reading to her, vaccines, doctors appointments, and such and wondering how I will know when the right time for everything is and such.
Another thing that is really weighing on me more and more now is the fact that our little lady is still breech. She stays on my right side, and in the mornings she is more transverse, but as the day goes on she keeps her head in my ribs. I can barely bend over while sitting now because of how she's positioned. My boss really wants me to do different stretches/exercises to try to make her flip, but honestly I'm scared. There is just one little cord that's floating around with her and keeping her alive. If I were to do something to try to make her flip and something happens to her cord she could be in serious trouble. Thanks to my trip to the hospital several weeks ago I know that she already has decels (and my understanding was that they are fairly regular), which is scary enough. I keep telling my boss that I'm not going to worry about it because she still has a month to flip and that my OB isn't worried about her being breech until 37 weeks. He said at that point we will do an ultrasound to check her position and then consider trying an external version. I was totally fine with that...until recently anyways. Upon further researching it I've found that is actually fairly risky because her cord could be wrapped around her. Goodness! Now I don't know what to do! I'm just hoping and praying that as we get closer she will turn on her own. However, how likely is that? I've read many places that sometimes there are birth defects or just the baby anatomy that don't allow her to flip (a large head for example). Then I start to think about what happens if she doesn't flip...c-section. Although my only real desire is to have a safe and healthy baby the thought of a c-section scares me. I trust my doctor and know that he would do a fine job if that is what's requited, but just having to have surgery is scary. What are her chances of having hip dysplasia? I've read that many breech babies do simply because of the position they were in while in the womb. When I worked in ortho several years ago we took care of a baby with hip dyplasia and while I know it's definitely not a permanent thing and know how the treatment goes it's still something that scares me. Is this what being a mom is all about? Constantly being filled with worry over your child?
Another thing that is really weighing on me more and more now is the fact that our little lady is still breech. She stays on my right side, and in the mornings she is more transverse, but as the day goes on she keeps her head in my ribs. I can barely bend over while sitting now because of how she's positioned. My boss really wants me to do different stretches/exercises to try to make her flip, but honestly I'm scared. There is just one little cord that's floating around with her and keeping her alive. If I were to do something to try to make her flip and something happens to her cord she could be in serious trouble. Thanks to my trip to the hospital several weeks ago I know that she already has decels (and my understanding was that they are fairly regular), which is scary enough. I keep telling my boss that I'm not going to worry about it because she still has a month to flip and that my OB isn't worried about her being breech until 37 weeks. He said at that point we will do an ultrasound to check her position and then consider trying an external version. I was totally fine with that...until recently anyways. Upon further researching it I've found that is actually fairly risky because her cord could be wrapped around her. Goodness! Now I don't know what to do! I'm just hoping and praying that as we get closer she will turn on her own. However, how likely is that? I've read many places that sometimes there are birth defects or just the baby anatomy that don't allow her to flip (a large head for example). Then I start to think about what happens if she doesn't flip...c-section. Although my only real desire is to have a safe and healthy baby the thought of a c-section scares me. I trust my doctor and know that he would do a fine job if that is what's requited, but just having to have surgery is scary. What are her chances of having hip dysplasia? I've read that many breech babies do simply because of the position they were in while in the womb. When I worked in ortho several years ago we took care of a baby with hip dyplasia and while I know it's definitely not a permanent thing and know how the treatment goes it's still something that scares me. Is this what being a mom is all about? Constantly being filled with worry over your child?
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