Follow up Appointment

Today was my follow up appointment with my doctor after the HSG and pelvic ultrasound. She said that everything looked normal so we are going to proceed with the plan of Femara on days 3-7 and then a follicle scan on cd12. I asked her about this cycle and the chance that I haven't ovulated and she kinda blew me off which is terribly frustrating. I asked if maybe because I drink too much water that my urine is too diluted to give a positive result. She basically interrupted me and said that wouldn't matter. The nurse, who actually listened, seemed to agree with my theory. Anyways, she didn't want to do any lab work this time to see if I actually ovulated on my own, instead she wants to wait and have me call her on cd45 if I don't start. Ugh!!! I just want to scream! Why make me wait when we know that I haven't ovulated on my own recently! Then to make things worse, she told us that she doesn't do IUI's on the weekends or holidays when the clinic staff is closed. Basically if there is no nursing staff she won't do it! My last doctor would come in on the weekends or whatever because it's not like I can control when my body decides to ovulate. I just want to slam my head against the wall over and over again with frustration. Why must everything be do freaking hard?!? Why do I feel like I have to jump through freaking hoops just to have a child? My efforts to remain optimistic and positive about this whole things have fallen flat and I'm a "doubting Thomas" again! Why does everything seem to come so easily to everyone around me, but I have to struggle for everything!

In other news all of my supplements have come in! I'm excited to try those and see if they work and if I start feeling more like my old self (pre-Clomid) again. Here's the supplements I'm taking: Fish Oil, Co-Q 10, Cholesterol Balance (on top of fertility we have discovered my cholesterol is slightly elevated and my liver is "fatty"), Vitamin B-12, N-Acetyl Cysteine, Fertility Blend, Vitamin D, and Prenatal Vitamins. I feel like a crazy old lady with all my pills, but I firmly believe in supplements, especially for DHA & EPA (found in the fish oil) because I can't stand fish most of the time. I chose these supplements based on a very helpful book,Be Fruitful by Dr Victoria Maizes. One of the OB-Gyn's recommended this book because she is friends with Dr Maize and really respects her insight on infertility. Dr Maize is a very well known integrative medicine physician in Arizona and while she recognizes the importance of and need for Western medicine, she also knows that eastern medicine is also very effective. I figure that nothing else has worked, so why not try it. It won't hurt anything and there is strong evidence of these supplements helping women conceive.
On top of starting new supplements to help conceive I'm also back on the wagon so to speak in regards to exercise. I'm so tired of being overweight and uncomfortable in my skin. I look at myself in the mirror every day with disgust with what I have let become of my body. My husband is all about me being healthier because if I'm healthier he will be too. So he has committed to helping me get up every morning when he gets up for PT, which is normally around 0515, so that I can do my own exercises. Today was brutal because it was the first day and I didn't sleep well last night at all, but I'm determined to do it so hopefully it'll get easier one day.