Will it ever happen?

So I know that I'm being over dramatic, but that's how I feel right now. This cycle really has me down this month. I don't know if it's just a reflection of the stresses at home with the compulsive liar who is a total ass or what. The other this is this cycle isn't going like my "normal Clomid" cycle. Typically I go in on cd12 and have a fairly decent size follicle, go back on cd 14 and it's almost ready, trigger on cd 15 and then do the iui on cd16. However, this month I went in on cd12 and barely had one that was dominant, back on cd14 and it was a little bigger, now I'm going back on cd17 and hopefully trigger that day and have the iui on Monday. I'm so scared that we are going to miss it again this cycle. I a few months back that I still wanted to try this year, but I didn't really want to have a baby in 2013 because I don't like the number 13, guess I should be careful what I wish for. I really really hope and pray that 2014 will bring us a baby. One of my favorite numbers is 14, so maybe that's what my body was waiting on. I'm still trying really hard to be optimistic about this cycle, but I don't have much optimism with anything right now.

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I typed this all up the other day and I guess forgot to hit the publish button, so before I do that today here is an update. My body quit responding to the clomid this month. My follicle hasn't really grown at all this cycle. I'm going in for a progesterone level on Thursday and then just waiting to finally start. She then is going to do an "early scan" to see if I'm starting with a larger follicle and the clomid isn't working. After that we'll come up with a new plan I guess. I'm so disheartened right now. I just sat in my car and cried after my appointment. To make matters worse because of my husbands stupid leadership at work he was the only qualified driver to take the guys out to the range so he couldn't be there for support today! I hate having to go through this alone because of his stupid work schedule! Anyways, I'm also working on setting up a short phone conference with an RE down in Oregon to see what his opinion is regarding our labs and treatments and see if he thinks that there is something that is being looked over. I'm really hoping that we have success sooner rather than later, but I know many women who struggle for many years (7+) before finally getting pregnant.