Glucose Testing & Fetal Echos

Yesterday I had both my 1 hour glucose test and the fetal echo for our little lady. The glucose test was not nearly as bad as I had worked it up in my mind to bed, and thankfully I passed. I don't know if I would've tolerated drinking any more of that lovely orange drink or to have gone in fasting and unable to eat for an additional three hours for the test. About 30 minutes after I finished my drink it felt like our little lady was having quite the party in there. I loved it. I absolutely love feeling her move and squirm around. That afternoon we had her fetal echo. My OB decided to go ahead and order one for her to make sure her heart looked ok since I have a history of a congenital heart defect. She is typically really active between 1600 and 1800, and her echo was at 1630. I didn't think anything of it. She was so active I couldn't help but laugh as the ultrasound technician tried to measure her little baby heart and see everything. Our little wiggle worm would rest for a brief moment and the ultrasound tech would have the perfect view of something and as soon as she would go to measure or whatever she needed to do at that point and our wiggle worm would move. The tech would then sigh and try to chase down the wiggle worm. I don't know what was more fun: getting to see her and watch her moving around or listening to the tech try to do her job. The tech was amazing though and kept a great sense of humor through the whole thing. While they didn't get to visualize everything like they like to or do all the measurements they wanted they said that her heart looked great. The heart defect that I had isn't found until after birth however, so we'll see if they do any testing after she's born to check her heart and make sure everything is normal. The only down side to her being so wiggly is that all the pictures that we got of her yesterday are blurry. I'm ok with that though. Sure they aren't awesome for everyone else to see, but Reed and I got to see her clearly. My favorite thing that we saw yesterday was her playing with her hands in front of her face. It was fun watching her start sucking her thumb, then decided to clap her hands a little and then just wave them around. I'm so in love with this little girl already it's unreal!

24 Weeks

How far along: 24 weeks

Total weight gain? 2.7 lbs

Maternity clothes? Most definitely. My family was awesome enough to go get some for me since there are no stores up here that sell maternity clothes really and I'm hesitant to buy them online because I'm picky. Thankfully my sister knows my taste very well and I now have some comfortable clothes that aren't t-shirts.

Stretch marks? Yes, but I have embraced them. I'm so happy to be pregnant finally that they don't bother me at all.

Sleep: Insomnia and generalized discomfort have definitely set in.

Best moment this week: Passing the glucose test

Miss anything? Not really. I'm thoroughly enjoying this stage of pregnancy

Food cravings: Same craving for cherries, and not PB&J sandwiches and soft serve ice cream. (I've been holding back from the ice cream until I got my glucose results back, so that's my treat for today)

Anything make you queasy or sick? Nothing

Gender: GIRL!!

Labor Signs: None.

Symptoms: Starting to have more of a hard time breathing at times, insomnia, and generalized discomfort at the end of the day

Belly button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Looking forward to: We have her fetal echo this afternoon to make sure that her heart is healthy given my heart history. I'm looking forward to getting to see her again, but super nervous they will find something wrong.

It's a....

BABY GIRL!! We're so excited! I've said from the beginning that it was a girl. I have to say that getting to watch her move all over the place during the ultrasounds is one of my favorite things so far. I can't wait for the day that I can start feeling her move around.

How far along: 18 weeks 3 days today.

Total weight gain? According to the scale at home still just over 1 pound

Maternity clothes? Still find the tops very comfy. Unfortunatly, my prepregnancy jeans are not working for me anymore, thankfully I found a pair of maternity jeans that fit. Still can wear all my normal work clothes.

Stretch marks? None yet

Sleep: Nights have become a little more restless, I still manage to sleep most of the night, but it definitely isn't restful sleep

Best moment this week: Anatomy scan and see our little girl!

Miss anything? I really miss being able to sleep on my stomach and assist in the OR. Although I'm going to try going back to the OR next week and see how it goes.

Food cravings: Still those cherries. I can't wait for late spring & summer when fresh produce (especially fruit) is available.

Anything make you queasy or sick? I can't think of one thing in particular.

Gender: GIRL!!

Labor Signs: None.

Symptoms: Still having some round ligament pain.

Belly button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Looking forward to: Being able to feel her move.

Almost 17 weeks

I can't believe that on Monday I will be 17 weeks! I'm finally starting to feel a little more human. I don't have near the nausea and vomiting that I did have. This week has been a little rough though due to stupid work stresses, my family coming in town and feeling like things have to be perfect around the house, those great pregnancy hormones and still being crazy tired. Does the fatigue ever get better and am I looking at being tired until this child moves out? I'm kidding, well kind of. I still feel like I sleep pretty good at night, but keep finding myself on my back. I try going to sleep on one side or the other, but every night I wake up randomly and find myself on my back. I'm trying not to stress about that too much with the theory that my body will take care of itself and not allow me to stay on my back if it's causing problems. Back to the fatigue...goodness. I can make it through 1/2 the day on good days before I feel ready to pass out. It seemed to have gotten better for a while, but is bad again. I honestly think part of it though is the above mentioned stress.

How far along: 16 weeks 3 days today, I haven't started taking any bump pictures yet because I had enough fluff pre-pregnancy that I feel like I still look just fat and not pregnant.

Total weight gain? Just a a little over a pound according to my scale at home. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started weighing myself almost daily because I knew that since I was overweight to start with I shouldn't gain much more than 15 lbs. I lost almost 18 pounds in my first trimester due to the intense nausea/vomiting, so I guess technically I still haven't gained anything.

Maternity clothes? I have to admit I love maternity tops. I randomly put on a pair of maternity jeans this last weekend, and although they were a bit big, I can say that I'm not looking forward to having to wear those.

Stretch marks? Still none... so far. But, I can absolutely feel my skin really starting to stretch, so we'll see.

Sleep: Still sleeping quite comfortably although my big baby, Jackson, gets booted to the floor most nights.

Best moment this week:

Miss anything? I really miss being able to sleep on my stomach and assist in the OR. Almost 2 weeks ago I went to the OR as normal, scrubbed in to assist in the surgeries and within an hour of starting 2 of our 3 cases that day I had to break scrub and leave because I got overwhelmingly hot. I've been too scared to go back since. I feel so guilty having to leave in the middle of the case because I take an active role in assisting in each case and I feel like I throw off everything by having to leave. My surgeon is so good about it though. My OB said that the crazy hotness tends to get better around 18 weeks so I figure in a couple of weeks will try again.

Food cravings: Cherries! Those yummy ones from Washington with the pits in them. I found a bag right after I found out I was pregnant and thoroughly enjoyed them and have craved them since. Unfortunately everything is so seasonal in Alaska to start with and those are definitely a season fruit that I can't get them.

Anything make you queasy or sick? I can't think of one thing in particular. The smell of cooking buffalo is not awesome(we use ground buffalo rather than ground beef).

Gender: Any one's guess still. For the majority of the time so far I thought I was having a girl, but recently I've started to think it's a boy. I've had super vivid dreams of both so who knows. Hopefully we'll find out in a little over a week. My family tends to think it's a girl and everyone at work thinks it's a boy.

Labor Signs: None. Yesterday I did have a lot of cramping, which was scary, but thankfully it went away. I think it was from doing too much around the house.

Symptoms: Ligament pain!! Holy cow! That stuff is no joke. Other than that headaches once and a while, increased appetite and fatigue.

Belly button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Looking forward to: Spending time with family this coming week, feeling the baby move (although realistically that is probably still a ways out) and the anatomy scan

Miracles do occur!

My whole life I've had my doubts about miracles. They seem so unreal to me. I believe in coincidences, but not miracles. I especially gave up any small lingering hope of miracles when month after month AF came and I watched everyone around me getting pregnant and having babies. That all changed on 12/19/13. After having a crazy intense dream of taking 5 pregnancy tests and getting all BFPs I decided to go ahead a take one that morning. I figured I hadn't started yet, but given my irregular cycles and first time taking Femara I didn't know when to expect it. Plus I had plenty of cheapie tests so why not. Almost instantly the 2 lines appeared. I started shaking like crazy and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe! This couldn't be real! I don't get positive tests. I instantly tried calling Reed because he had already left for PT. I knew that he was going to sick call that morning, but of course he didn't answer. I called my sister, but I had to talk to someone. I told her what was going on and text her a picture of the test. She confirmed that there was indeed a second line and it was positive. I had to be at work early that morning because we had a surgery so I put a FRER test in my pocket and said I would take it the next time I had to go and if it was positive I would believe it. Thankfully Reed came home right before I left. I showed him the test and told him I was pregnant and he just stared at me and the test in disbelief. He told me that he wouldn't believe it until he had secondary or even tertiary proof. So off to the hospital I went and right after I walked inside from the cold I had to go again so I did the second test. Again positive! I wanted to run home instantly and show Reed, but of course I had a job to do so I threw the test in my pocket and headed to change for the OR. After we finished our case I went to the lab and had blood drawn to confirm and later that afternoon the nurse called to confirm that I was indeed pregnant! This pregnancy is most definitely a miracle baby! We had given up hope of that cycle working because my doctor wouldn't do the IUI because of Thanksgiving and the entire week that I was fertile Reed was studying and had promotion boards so his stress level was crazy high! I still did my opk's because I had them. Once I finally got the positive Reed had already taken his Ambien and gone to bed. We made sure to bd that next night, but I was positive that it wasn't going to work. However it did and I'm happy to announce that I'm currently 11w6d with a very healthy baby!

10 Facts

I'm sure that anyone on Facebook has seen the new "game" going around where women are sharing their facts about their pregnancies. I, unfortunately, had never been pregnant. However, I am part of an amazing infertility support group on Facebook that has taken that game, and made it into "10 Facts about my Infertility." Here are my 10 facts.

1. I have been off birth control since March 2010, but due to basic training and a deployment we have only been actively TTC for 2 years

2. I have had 5 rounds of clomid and 1 round of Femara.

3. I've done 3 IUIs.

4. We have 'slight' MFI, but I think that there is more to it than they think due to a groin injury my husband received by deployed. However, no one will investigate that.

5. During deployment I had 3 really close girlfriends and none of the 4 of us had children. I was the only one that wanted a child, but now I am the only one that doesn't have one. (One girl is ever pregnant with her second child!)

6. Before we started infertility treatments, I ovulated on my own despite having long irregular periods, since starting I have not ovulated on my own at all.

7. I have gained at least 20 pounds since starting treatments and know that it part of way I am not ovulating anymore.

8. While I may not act happy and through a celebration for other when I find out they are pregnant, I am really very happy for them. I usually send them a message that says such, but they never believe me because I can't express my happiness. I have a hard time expressing that happiness for them because I'm dying on the inside.

9. I honestly feel like I will never have a biological child or know what it feels like to see two pink lines.

10. I am the only one in my family to have fertility problems.

Same story different month

Today I had my follicle scan. I knew when they scheduled my appointment for today it wasn't going to work. If I know one thing it's my body. However, due the the holidays and the clinic's schedule I had to come in today to have any hope of an IUI this cycle. She found that I only have 1 dominate follicle on my left at it's only 1cm. It has to be at least 1.8cm in order to trigger and do the IUI. We initially discussed having me come back tomorrow and see how much they have grown. However after having time to think about it I would rather just do timed intercourse and have a day 21 progesterone drawn to see if I ovulated. I'm so frustrated at this point! I'm tired of going through all this and putting not only my self, but my husband through it. I want to know why I can't conceive and why I have stopped ovulating on my own. If I am honest with myself I know that I have stopped ovulating because of my weight. However I can't find the motivation to do the extreme diet and exercise I have to do in order to lose weight. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of venting about all this to my co-worker. She used to be really supportive of me. She went through "sub fertility" 20 years ago and was pregnant 7 times before she was able to have her 2 children. However, recently she keeps telling me that it isn't going to work because I'm too worked up and stressed about it. Honestly, I don't feel like I'm stressed about it really. Yeah sure I keep track of what day I'm on, but I don't obsess about it the way that I used to. Yes I do opk's and, until the dog at my thermometer, was doing my bbt daily, but I don't really see that as stressing over it. Her advise to me this morning was to have a couple of drinks and relax over Thanksgiving. First of all, that wasn't helpful and kind of hurt actually. Secondly, I can't drink anymore. I used to be able to have a couple of drinks occasionally, but now even just one drink will trigger a migraine for me. When I pointed that out she rolled her eyes at me and told me that I just need to chill out. Are you kidding me?!? I know that she feel positive that I will have two children, but still. I'm so tired of people telling me to chill out about this! I just want to cry, but unfortunately I'm stuck at work for another 6 hours. I feel like such a fat failure today. When I look in the mirror all I see is an obese failure of a woman. I wish I had the ability to take a mental health day from work, but we do get Thursday and Friday off so that will be a nice break.