Adoption?

I have absolutely no faith that this next cycle, the first with Femara, is going to work. I honestly feel like it is impossible for me to get pregnant. That being said, Reed hates seeing me so upset month after month and suggested that we start looking into adoption. He initally said that he didn't want to do that until I was 30 (just under 2.5 years from now), but has since changed his mind. He wants a family too. I know he does, he just doesn't say it and does his best to keep his cool so that I don't feel any worse than I already do.

Last week I called and got information from the local adoption agency. I nearly fell over when I saw that it would cost anywhere fom $13,500 - $21,500 for a private adoption and that this was based on a sliding scale. Ugh! My husband cheerfully added that the "military will help us pay for it." To which I had to burst his bubble and say that they only pay $2000. After reading through the education that the center gave us I called to schedule our intake interview. Again I was shocked that will cost us $75. Just to find out more and where to start costs money!! I have always wondered why so many people adopt from foreign countries when there are so many children in America that need adopting. I think it's sad that there are so many kids who age out of the system and are never adopted. However, our country does nothing to really help those kids. I'm hoping that our intake appointment goes well and that we get the information that we are looking for. One thing we found while reading the information they sent us was that almost all their adoptions are at least partially open. We both really want a closed adoption. I feel like if it were an open adoption I would feel like it wasn't our child, but this other person's that we are just raising. I'm sure that wouldn't be the case once we actually get the child, but is still a big fear of mine. What if they say that we can't adopt through them if we want a closed adoption? What does a semi open adoption mean?